"FEEL IT. You have to feel the muffins."
i hope the shower isn’t too toasty for you.
this is my favourite picture on the internet
I hope hundreds of years later this picture is found completely out of context by anthropologists and it’s the final tipping point before they completely give up on trying to understand the internet in this decade.
Revenge will be so, so sweet.
Prepare yourself, Dexter.
"I just had this horrible image of myself, where I was standing here and I turned into a tree. And grass started growing around me, like I was the center of all nature. And in hundreds of years, people would come and look at me and say, "look at the man-shaped tree trunk." But little did they know, I was actually a man. With a soul. Yeah…"
"They sleep like tuna because that’s how you catch them in the wild. You take a can of tuna and you throw it into the water next to a group of tuna, and then they just fall in. Then you poop a little. And sometimes you jus…t quack quack quack quack quack meow meow meow mmmmmeeeeeooooowwwww…”