"FEEL IT. You have to feel the muffins."

Dexter

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The Incredibly Short But Incredibly True Story of My Current Relationship

(via yourbeautyeffulgent)

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bopx:

glsases:

chuckle-w0rthy:

i hope the shower isn’t too toasty for you.

this is my favourite picture on the internet

I hope hundreds of years later this picture is found completely out of context by anthropologists and it’s the final tipping point before they completely give up on trying to understand the internet in this decade. 

Revenge will be so, so sweet.
Prepare yourself, Dexter. 

bopx:

glsases:

chuckle-w0rthy:

i hope the shower isn’t too toasty for you.

this is my favourite picture on the internet

I hope hundreds of years later this picture is found completely out of context by anthropologists and it’s the final tipping point before they completely give up on trying to understand the internet in this decade. 

Revenge will be so, so sweet.

Prepare yourself, Dexter. 

(Source: kanadetachiibana, via neverassassinateferdinand-deact)

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Listening to Dexter talking to the cats.

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Tomorrow!

Tomorrow!

(Source: justlittlethings)

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Me: What are you doing?
Dexter (picking at his elbow): I have angered the scab gods.
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Explained to Dexter about Spring Awakening

There was an empty seat next to me yesterday.  

DEXTER Y U NO THERE

Of course you want to see it now, when there are no reputable productions in the area.  GAWD.

For a Volunteer Firefighter, going on a call at 11:30 PM

come home please come home please come home please come home please come home please come home please come home please come home please come home please

safely.

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"Can you turn that off please???"

"Poopsicles…moopsicles…Pandora’s hydroxioshfuhh…"

Keep on trying till you run out of it.

"I like cake.  It goes inside of my tummy.  And then I POOP!  And there’s the cake again…But it doesn’t look like it used to…"

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Man-shaped Tree

"I just had this horrible image of myself, where I was standing here and I turned into a tree.  And grass started growing around me, like I was the center of all nature.  And in hundreds of years, people would come and look at me and say, "look at the man-shaped tree trunk."  But little did they know, I was actually a man.  With a soul.  Yeah…"

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"They sleep like tuna because that’s  how you catch them in the wild. You take a can of tuna and  you throw it into the water next to a group of tuna, and then they just  fall in. Then you poop a little.  And sometimes you jus…t  quack quack quack quack quack meow meow meow mmmmmeeeeeooooowwwww…”

"They sleep like tuna because that’s how you catch them in the wild. You take a can of tuna and you throw it into the water next to a group of tuna, and then they just fall in. Then you poop a little. And sometimes you just quack quack quack quack quack meow meow meow mmmmmeeeeeooooowwwww…”

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"A lentil!"

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"Mmmmm…tur-tulllleggssss…"

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"Mmmmm…future sex."

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