My students and I read some restaurant reviews today, in preparation for their latest essay assignment which requires them to write a review of a restaurant in town or on an exhibit in the campus museum.  We stumbled across articles by the same author, who wrote in what we called “exalted, fancy language.”  She used phrases like “scrupulously fresh” and “sassy lettuce rolls.”  We just had to look her up.

“Oh, now it makes sense,” one of my students said.  ”She looks like what she writes!”

my-esl-student:

You may assume that it’s a piece of cute pizza, but no way.  I have an allergy to cats.  Take a look at my arms, I have hives on account of being seen the pizza.  You have a responsibility for getting rid of it.  Eat it rignt away.

This is my life as an ESL tutor, a pizza-eater, and a crazy cat lady with an allergic boyfriend.